It doesn’t matter if a “deployment” or “TDY”, as the
military lovingly refers them, is to Afghanistan, Iraq or Michigan. You have been separated from your loved
one. Out of touch, out of sight and
often out of even phone or email contact.
You missed them. You are glad to
see them. You are glad they are
safe. You want to hug them and never let
go.
Yes, I speak from experience. I have been married to my husband for over 24
years. In that time he has been on 30+
deployments. In fact, he got home
yesterday from one. Now this one was
short, 7 days, in comparison to months or years but we’ve done that too. It doesn’t matter how long he was gone, I was
glad he was home. I kissed him and held
him and I didn’t want to let him out of my sight.
To me as a “fellow” military spouse, I was thrilled by that
picture! There is no reason that a man
or woman for that matter should not greet, with love and affection, their significant
other upon returning home. In fact for
years I have felt awkward knowing that some in my husband’s unit couldn’t do
just that. I know that they felt awkward
too.
The end of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell had nothing to do with gays
serving in the military. Nothing! They
were already there, proudly serving right beside my heterosexual spouse. Some of them we knew, some of them we didn’t. But either way they were his brothers and
sisters in arms and part of our extended family. It just didn’t matter. What does matter is that they have the right
to love and be loved. To kiss their
partner (and hopefully someday spouse!) upon returning from a deployment. To cry and laugh and love just like we all
do. Each and every spouse, partner,
lover and friend has earned that right. They have also earned the right to
receive a flag along with the words, “On behalf of a grateful nation, please
accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one’s honorable
and faithful service.” As well as the support, caring and sympathy as a result of
the ultimate sacrifice.
You see that man or woman, gay or straight, signed a blank
check that said “up to and including my life”.
The bullet, sniper, IED, or bad guy didn’t ask if he was straight. The car wreck, cancer, heart attack, AIDS, or
slip on the ice didn’t either.
It’s not black or white.
It’s not green or purple. It’s
not straight or gay. It’s human and as
humans we have the right (yes I said the RIGHT) to love and be loved. Isn’t that what the constitution says, “pursue
happiness”? Isn’t that what the Bible
says, “love one another”? It doesn’t
say, only if…..
