We've Moved!!!

Arms wide open has MOVED!!!  Come check us out at our new home!

www.armswideopen.net

changes

OK so much for blogging every day!  Ha! 

However there are changes coming!  Arms Wide Open will be moving to it's very own url!  I am also moving to wordpress. 

Hang on guys more to come!

Blogging my way

I've been having a really hard time keeping up with this blog.  It isn't that I don't have things to say or share.  I just seem to be having a hard time getting them from my mind, through my fingers and on to the page.  So I'm setting myself a goal.  One entry every day for the next 30 days.  They might not always been the quality of my normal.  They might be short or off of my regular topic but at maybe, just maybe I can force myself into the habit of writing every day!

So many people have been so amazingly supportive of this blog.  So many times I hear from people that I don't expect who are enjoying it.  So many will tell me a story about someone in their life, usually a family member, who is gay and who they love.  It lightens my heart to know that I am contributing in some way. 

So hang on for the ride guys...here it comes!!

Kiss seen 'round the world

There has been a lot of buzz in the last few days about the kiss seen ‘round the world!  Two marines, one coming home from a 4 month long deployment, shared a kiss.  So far not newsworthy, however they are both men.  Now I will admit it was a passionate kiss but what is most telling to me is the people in the background of the photo.  No one is looking.  No one cares.  Not that they don’t “care” but they don’t care.  You know what I mean.  It is no big deal.  It is a couple greeting each other after one has been in harm’s way. 

It doesn’t matter if a “deployment” or “TDY”, as the military lovingly refers them, is to Afghanistan, Iraq or Michigan.  You have been separated from your loved one.  Out of touch, out of sight and often out of even phone or email contact.  You missed them.  You are glad to see them.  You are glad they are safe.  You want to hug them and never let go.

Yes, I speak from experience.  I have been married to my husband for over 24 years.  In that time he has been on 30+ deployments.  In fact, he got home yesterday from one.  Now this one was short, 7 days, in comparison to months or years but we’ve done that too.  It doesn’t matter how long he was gone, I was glad he was home.  I kissed him and held him and I didn’t want to let him out of my sight.

To me as a “fellow” military spouse, I was thrilled by that picture!  There is no reason that a man or woman for that matter should not greet, with love and affection, their significant other upon returning home.  In fact for years I have felt awkward knowing that some in my husband’s unit couldn’t do just that.  I know that they felt awkward too. 

The end of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell had nothing to do with gays serving in the military.  Nothing!   They were already there, proudly serving right beside my heterosexual spouse.  Some of them we knew, some of them we didn’t.  But either way they were his brothers and sisters in arms and part of our extended family.  It just didn’t matter.  What does matter is that they have the right to love and be loved.  To kiss their partner (and hopefully someday spouse!) upon returning from a deployment.  To cry and laugh and love just like we all do.  Each and every spouse, partner, lover and friend has earned that right. They have also earned the right to receive a flag along with the words, “On behalf of a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one’s honorable and faithful service.” As well as the support, caring and sympathy as a result of the ultimate sacrifice. 

You see that man or woman, gay or straight, signed a blank check that said “up to and including my life”.  The bullet, sniper, IED, or bad guy didn’t ask if he was straight.  The car wreck, cancer, heart attack, AIDS, or slip on the ice didn’t either. 

It’s not black or white.  It’s not green or purple.  It’s not straight or gay.  It’s human and as humans we have the right (yes I said the RIGHT) to love and be loved.  Isn’t that what the constitution says, “pursue happiness”?  Isn’t that what the Bible says, “love one another”?  It doesn’t say, only if…..

Today is a good day!

Today is a good day!  Today is a day better than most.  The Federal Appeals Court struck down prop. 8 as unconstitutional. 

As I sit here I am shaking my head a bit.  Yes, it's about time but what I really don't get is why this is such a fight.

I know that 52% of Californians voted that they believe marriage is between a man and a woman.  I also know that years ago I myself voted that way in Nevada.  But I was wrong.

How is it my right to say that a black woman and a white man can not be married.  Yet that is exactly what people said when Richard and Mildred Loving married in 1958.

How is it my right to say that a black woman must sit in the back of the bus.  Yet that is exactly what people said when Rosa Parks refused to move in 1955.

How is this fight any different?  The point is....it's NOT!

These are civil rights issues.  These are issues based in and around the fact that we as human beings have rights.

Did many of our Founding Fathers own slaves?  Yes.  Was it right?  No.  Times change.  Beliefs change.  People change. 

No one is asking for a new set of rules.  They are simply asking that the rules be applied evenly.

I pray that one day I can watch my son and the love of his life be married.  I love them both and I realize that it is as much their right to live a committed loving relationship as it is his father and mine!

One day at a time, one step at a time, one victory at a time until we are all free!

God is Nigh

Over the weekend I attended a funeral for a friend.  He was a member of the Air National Guard and it was a military funeral at the Fernley Veterans Cemetery in Fernley Nevada. 

As I stood in the cold paying my last respects to a great man and a wonderful friend I realized that there are probably many people who don't realize there are words to the song Taps.  The haunting melody has words that are just as haunting and meaningful.

Day is done
Gone the sun
From the lake
From the hill
From the sky
All is well
Safely rest
God is nigh

As I stood there listening to Taps and singing these words, it dawned on me just how appropriate they were for a funeral (and lets be honest, probably why they were chosen in the first place). Its more a message to the fallen than to those who are left.  All is well, Safely rest, God is nigh.

God is near.  You've earned your rest. 

May the Lord bless and keep each of you and may you remember that He is near.

Rest with God Bruce, we'll see you soon.

Clear liquids or Fasting

After being in the hospital and getting really tired of watching paint dry I had a delightful visit from the hospital pastor this afternoon.  A bright and cheerie fellow who I'm sure sees plenty of pain and suffering but still manages to bring the light of God's love to people every day.  I'll be honest, he just did it for me.  Since I've been sick I haven't been eating.  I can't keep anything down for more than a half hour.  Even water didn't stay down until yesterday when they started an IV and gave me something for the pain and vomiting.  Now I'll admit I was looking forward to losing some weight in 2012 but this was NOT how I planned to do it!

So how does this relate you ask?  Simple.  It's the beginning of January.  The beginning of a new year.  A new place to start, to refocus and kick start.  One of the things that Christians have done to focus on God and be open to Him is to fast.  I personally have NEVER had success fasting.  Probably because I like food too much (sorry God), but also because it means you have to Stop.

Fasting is about focus, trust and communication.  It's about stopping to listen and to hear.  We spend a lot of time talking to God (or I do).  We talk about our cares and worries.  We lift up to Him our struggles and pray for Him to make it all better.  But what are we doing for Him?  When was the last time we stopped and listened?  Turned off the TV, the phone, Fasebook, (amber's blog), all of the distractions of every day life and listened with our whole heart and mind to our Heavenly Father? 

In my crazy everyday life I run 180 miles an hour and to be honest, I like it that way!  I enjoy running a business, meeting new challenges and making rabbits appear as if by magic.  I've always enjoyed having 3 active children and being involved in their everyday lives.  Even now when they are grown and have lives of their own, I am an active participant and have no plans to change that.  I am involved in non-profits and give of my time and talents to the Shriners Hospitals for Children.  I enjoy Daughters of the Nile which supports that great philanthropy and the Order of the Eastern Star.  I read, a lot!  I follow blogs.  I write blogs.  I'm working on a college degree in marketing.  I support my Husband in his work with the Air National Guard as a Key Volunteer.  The point here is that my life is full!  It's full of abundance and friends and love. 

But even when your life is full to overflowing with blessings who's running the show?  I often think of the old Abbott and Costello bit, Who's on first, What's on second and I Don't Know's on third.  Am I in charge?  Gez I really hope not!  I hope in my heart of hearts that I have turned over the reins to someone a whole lot smarter than I am!  And maybe, just maybe now is my turn to slow down, turn down the volume and listen.